BAYAD UTANG

Just a few days back we panicked because of news about one of my cousins — who is quite close to me. She is only 14 years old–and as every normal teenager, she tests her boundaries. She is a very obedient child and very loving. But she was also prone to peer pressure. To make the story short, she committed a mistake. And one mistake led to another–nagsinungaling sya. We all reacted violently not because it was the worst thing that a teenager could do or that she was the first cousin to ever commit that mistake. Sino ba naman ang taong kahit kelan di nagsinungaling. Nagalit kami kasi, we know that she have the capacity to overcome peer pressure, that she is an obedient child by nature, that she have a potential and all is not lost. Nagalit ako kasi alam ko ang kasalanan-or pagsisinungaling ay parang domino..once nag sinungaling ka hahaba ng hahaba ang lubid ng kasingalingan hanggat matisod ka na sa lubid mo at di na makaahon. Ang pagtatago ng katotohan–ay nagiging dahilan din para lumayo ka sa mga taong totoong nagmamahal sayo at may concern sayo. Sa kakasinungaling mo,,, lagi mong iju-justify na mali ang ibang tao—and the worse is di ka na makabalik sa putik na nakasadlakan mo.

It was an emotional conversation because as far as experience is concerned talking to a teenaager is like talking to a 2 year old. You either win their love or earn their fury. And they will be rebellious until the next phase/stage in their life.  This is why raising a child or a teenager requires the whole community (parents, relatives, cousins, Church, neighbours).

We can only add to the problem if we do not use the correct communication strategy. I am so glad that there is one Communication Strategist who teaches us all that.. He loves Us–He will not allow us to commit mistakes for which we cannot recover from. He will always communicate to us– the easiest way out! Christ!

Lahat tayo iba iba ng kinalakihan, iba iba ng ugali, iba iba ang pagkatao… kung wala tayong common grounds or common na batayan kung ano ang tama at mali, our pride and rebellious nature will get the better out of us.. buti na lang meron tayong common na batayan ng tama at mali.

 Ang BIBLIYA. Lahat nagkakasala at walang taong di pa nagkasala. Ang bawat pagkakasala ay parang utang na dapat pagbayaran. At ang utang/kasalanan na ito–kailanman di natin kayang bayaran sa sarili lamang na pagsisikap…magsimba ka man araw araw… mamimigay ka man ng salapi or lumakad ng paluhod.. hindi mo mababayaran ang utang mo sa Dyos. Yung iba ang sabi kapag ang lalaki daw ay babaero, ang anak daw nya ang PANGBAYAD UTANG. Kahit mapariwara at mabuntis ang anak na babae ng isang babaero–di pa rin mabayayaran ang kanyang utang….sa impyerno pa rin ang bagsak nya.

Isa lang ang kabayaran sa iyong pagkakautang sa Dyos— si Christo..binayaran na nya ang utang mo kahapon, ngayon at sa kinabukasan. Ang mga kasalanan natin ay nasama ng ipinako sa Krus.

Kaya dapat nating pasalamatan ang Panginoon sa pinaka-ultimate na REGALO nya sa atin– ang kabayaran sa ating pagkakautan…kabayaran sa ating mga kasalanan.

Meron pa bang regalo na mas hihigit pa dyan? Ang maligtas ka sa IMPYERNO?

Gusto mong magkaroon ng higit pang pagpapala? Makipag-kaibigan ka sa Panginoon!  Dyan mo lang mahahanap ang Kaligayahang nagiging mailap sayo–kaya ka habol ng habol sa mga relasyong di naman talaga dapat sayo.

http://www.4laws.com/laws/tagalog/default.htm

What’s A Crucial Conversation? And who cares

We do not have to be presidents or prime ministers and seat around a massive conference table to debate the future of the world. These are conversations that we have day-to-day that impacts our lifes.

So–what is the difference between a Crucial and non-crucial conversation?

The ingredietns of a crucial conversation are opinions that vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong.

1. opinions that vary

For example, once I talked to my boss about promotion. She thinks I am not ready; but I think I was ready

2. stakes are high

For example, you are having a meeting with your business partner and you are discussing a marketing strategy — we’ve got do something different–otherwise the business will not meet its revenue goals

3. emotions run high

For example, your business partner thinks that you sold out and strike out on your own–when all along you are just taking a break and was starting a fund-raising event –you dont remember having a bad intent or motivation–however, she considers this as selling out–and took revenge by doing something you really abhor…

What makes these conversations crucial and challeing, frustrating, or annoying is that the results could have a huge impact on the quality of your lofe.

In each case, some element of your daily routine could be changed forever for worse or for better.

Of course, a job promotion could make a big difference. My company’s success affects me and everyone I work with. Your relationship with a business partner and a roome mate affects every aspect of your life at home.

Its all about tough issues..and there are only 3 ways to handle them

1.) we can avoid them

2.) we can face them and handle them POORLY

3.) we can face them and handle them well

Honestly,  most of the time I try to 1) avoit or back away from discussions for fear of offending someone, fear of hurting myself, or making things worse ..(similar to a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

Then, by the time I decide to face the discussion–I am already at my wits end–and handle the conversation poorly.

Well, I would like to be able to recognize crucial conversations and also master these conversations–to help improve the quality of life of myself and my family and everyone else around me..

No harm in trying..the best Crucial Conversationalist of all is Jesus Christ–during His life on Earth He handled lots of conversations wherein

1. opinions vary

(His opinion on how the house of prayer should be treated is in conflict with the Pharisees)

2. stakes are high

(our Salvation)

3. emotions run high

He (Jesus Christ) faced these conversations and handled them well. He cares that we handle Crucial Conversations because–He wants us to be ready–who knows an opportunity to change/improve someone’s life will just present itself and most of all an opportunity to let someome else reconcile himself to God.

Every opportunity to witness , disciple or minister to a pre-believer is a Crucial Conversation.

Serenity and Peace that surpassess all understanding

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can(myself); and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen

It pains me more than you know

It pains me to let you go.. you are my brother and you–you are the younger sister that I never had.. it pains me! But it would pain me more if all of us end in the valley of death–not knowing where we went wrong..not knowing what IFs and could have beens.

It pains me when other people saying things about you (more painful when people say that I have issues–because the truth is may issues talaga ako–at sino naman ang wala) It pains me when other people say thins about you–because it seems I have never done enough to put you where you are now… and maybe I should just let go of that? and start from zero again? Anyway, I was just a vessel, an instrument to carry God’s work. It is not about me. This is the reason why I can never be an Oprah, or a Mother Theresa or a great person in this lifetime, because this is not about me, this is about God. If my inclination to be proactive, to help or makialam will distract you and I from the prize, I will let go–and this the reason why people are always dissappointed in me. I only give enough to pull anybody through-then I let go of the reigns no matter how it pains me–because you have to swim on your own–and see who your real Saviour is.

Maybe this is what God is saying, that if I decide to be His disciple, I should let go of my family and my friends — as He will be the one to take care of them.. maybe I am overshadowing God in your life..you can’t see Him, because I am always there for you–maybe I should step back, let go of the reigns, no matter how it pains me..

Di bale na lang na ako ang may issue, di bale na lang…na ma-disappoint ka sa akin. basta makita mo ang Dyos sa buhay mo.

That is how much I love you..and that is how much God loves you..

Barack Obama:

Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. it’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.

Carter Heyward:

Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being “drawn toward.” Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one’s friends and enemies.

 

Edward Everett Hale:

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something.
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do
The something that I can do.

 

Athena:

We sometimes fail most of our commitments because of other commitments that are actually distractions. We only free ourselves when we realize that there are self imposed walls that restrict our movements. The realizaton of these self imposed walls are never easy, because it causes you to give up something you have given your self into at least for a day, a month or a year.

We can never be too busy to meet our commitments, we can just be too lazy not to say NO to distractions.

It pains me to say NO– but I do not want you to be distracted. I want you to see the Person–who is really making it happen for you, someone you cannot see, but He is always there.

To risk or not to risk

excerpt from pbc.org:

“They are moments of fateful decision when we are confronted with the question of whether we are willing to invest our life and risk the loss of something we want, in order that God may have something he wants. That is the test.

Who has not faced the question at one time or another? Perhaps it was when you had to decide, “What shall I do with my life? What am I going to do with myself? What am I going to live for? To what purpose is my life to be put?”

Having found that you have certain talents/skills/gifts, what then do you seek for? Having found that you can add value to a cause, to a client’s project. Opportunity to exercise them. You are looking for the opportunity to put your gifts/talents/skills to work. But have you discovered that those opportunities are not something you can create, they are something God determines? Who of us has not talked about the “lucky breaks” we have had in order to show our abilities, give us a chance, etc. Those lucky breaks, as we call them, are God-given opportunities. If we think that we engineer them, how many of us can also remember the times we have experienced what we call “bad breaks,” when we thought we had an opportunity right at hand, but it slipped through our fingers and disappeared. 

So it is apparent that these opportunities do not belong to us, but are God’s property. They are given to us.”

There were also questions that people ask–do you need money to start a business? or you start a business to earn money? I guess it is more of the later..God gave us talents/skills/gifts and gave us OPPORTUNITIES to use them. It follows, that if your takent/skill/gift adds value to a cause or a project, then MONEY will follow.

Now, the question is when you have the MONEY already, or have achieved the goal, is there a time in your life that you asked yourself, is this what I really wanted? or is this really what God wanted me to do? Did you ever feel that God is pushing you to another direction, wherein you are not so sure of what the future holds–and whatever you have in your hands right now is more promising because it is the fruit of your labor? Would you risk giving up security of the present — for the promise of eternity?

Happy and Sad at the same time- Is it possible?

Yes, I am happy now–I actually surprised myself when I checked my Friendster profile.. it says

Who I want to meet::
“The woman I wanted to BECOME: healthy, positive, optimistic,cheerful, creative, productive, beautiful and self-realized. She spreads, love, peace and joy. She strives for spiritual calm and serenity. She builds a better world.”

It surprised me to know, that I might have finally met the woman I wanted to BECOME: ===> Me, myself and I ^_^..

3 years ago, when I wrote this down- it seemed so impossible to meet “her”. Back then, I was just so busy surviving every minute of everyday to recover from bad relationships. I remember, throwing up, on the side of the street, almost every day- just like physical manifestations of withdrawal from addiction. Now, its HISTORY! And I can truly say, I am FREE! Free to be what God has intended me to be! That is why I am happy.

Why am I sad? Oh well go to my facebook to know- search for laniefrancisco_sg@hotmail.com

We need your support — www.trajesbyalexis.blogspot.com

www.trajesbyalexis.blogspot.com

Here is a passage from the Bible and yes, faith is belief that moves and takes action.

Ecclesiastes 11

Be Bold

 ¹ Put your money into trade across the ocean.
      After a while you will earn something from it.
 ² Give shares of what you earn to a lot of people.
      After all, you don’t know what great trouble might come on the land.
 ³ Clouds that are full of water
      pour rain down on the earth.
   A tree might fall to the south or the north.
      It will stay in the place where it falls.
 ⁴ Anyone who keeps on watching the wind won’t plant seeds.
      Anyone who keeps looking at the clouds won’t gather crops.
 ⁵ You don’t know the path the wind takes.
      You don’t know how a baby is made inside its mother.
   So you can’t understand how God works either.
      He made everything.
 ⁶ In the morning plant your seeds.
      In the evening keep your hands busy.
   You don’t know what will succeed.
      It may be one or the other.
      Or both might do equally well.

http://flanie.blog.friendster.com/about/

Zoe — To enjoy real life

The “life” that Jesus has come to give us is translated from the Greek word “zoe”, which means to be possessed of vitality, to be devoted to God, to be blessed; to be among the living - not lifeless or seemingly zombie like, to enjoy real life, true life worthy of the name.

Ngayon, I am not so surprised why everytime a party or momentous event or major accomplishment has been reached (for example –birthday party ni Zarah or all other parties that I planned for my clients, or when I achieved my dreams of working abroad–there are times when I felt either dissapointment or disolutionment –that all of this are for nothing–that no matter what I do, no matter what I accomplish.

Why? because material things, social accomplishments are nothing without Jesus, without the knowledge or without proactively being in tune with God’s purpose in our lives.

When we accomplish something, there would always be something or someone who will bring us down and pull us back to where we started.

What God intended was for us to pass life on to others, to be fresh, strong, efficient. Jesus tells us that He has come to give us this rich existences in abundance, more than sufficient, more than enough–that your cup overflows.

HOWEVER– the abundant life that Christ brings is not a promise of a fairy tale in which, we  live happily ever after , where we find happiness in our perfect life. In fact, the Bible states clearly that the opposite is true,:

” In the world you will have tribulation” - John 16:33.

But it goes on to say, “but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world“.

Paul also says that “We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perservarance, and perserverance, character, and character , brings hope” (Romans 5:3,4)..

Because of our covenant relationship with God, even in times of tribulation, suffering or loss, we have the promise of abundant, ZOE life.

According to Isaiah 61, Jesus is anointed to heal the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to the captives, and give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.

Such promises are the heritage of God’s children–if you have accepted that you are a sinner, and that you believe that Jesus is the only way to repay for your sins and accepted Jesus as your Saviour–this heritage is YOURS. Claim it!

Our joy does not come from a perfect pain-free life but rather from a peace that surpasses all understanding - from an intimate relationship with the author of Zoe life (Phillipians 4:7).

Honor Your Parents

Sabi ng tito ko (PM nya sa akin sa friendster)

” you are the best daughter in the world. even though you have now your own family, you still have time to your parents.”

” sobrang proud ako sayo kasi di ka nakakalimot sa family natin”

Sagot ko (my answer): Thanks, Tito,  but I dont feel I deserve the credit.

Bakit? kasi there are times when I feel so frustrated that all I can say is, bakit ganun? bakit ako na lang lagi?

Bakit di ganito ang tatay ko? bakit ganun sya? haayz..daming tanong. sabi ko nga sa ibang friends ko, even nung high school pa ako–kahit walang pera kahit mahirap basta tahimik lang sana sa bahay –basta maayos at nakakausap ko ng matino mga tao sa bahay–yun lang naman hiling ko.

When I was renewed as a Christian, I testified that I have forgiven my father for not being an ideal father, and I have forgiven myself for not being the ideal daughter that everyone thinks that I am.

Bakit ngayon, naiinis na naman ako? Kasi when the opportunity presents itself (or maybe the whiles of the devil)–bumabalik kami sa dating cycle…my father provoking us to anger (in so many ways), and I being provoked to the hilt. Imbes na tulungan ako, nagdadagdag pa sa problema. When will it ever stop?

Maraming nakaalala

Maraming maraming salamat po sa mga dumalo sa Birthday party ni Zarah.

My mother used to say that when I was younger, I usually get sick before, during or after my birthday. She said, it meant there are a lot of people who are thinking of me (maraming nakaalala). This is the first time it ever happened to Zarah Alexis. Does it mean, ngayon lang may nakaalala? or mas maraming nakaalala ngayon?

I was downed by flu from 9-13th March. Then Zarah Alexis started getting fever from 10th March and diarrhea started 11 March. She was admitted at The Medical City on Friday–symptoms of dehydration. The only finding then was tonsilitis and she cant swallow solid food or even liquids, which caused her dehydration. So, she was on drips since Friday.

No more fever since Sunday (yesterday), but the doctor  decided not to release her until her urine analysis is completed (pinaka-culture pa daw nila). So we rebooked our flight back to Singapore - 19 March (Thursday). I just hope that they would at least remove the drips kasi wala na namang lagnat. I feel so sorry for her kasi limited ang galaw nya.

But she did not fail to entertain her visitors, with just one hand. She takes pictures with one hand. Plays with her toys with one hand. Walk, and dance with her Tita Paula following her around to carry her drips.

But since yesterday, the doctors have to put the drips on her right foot (kasi nag blood clot na yun veins sa left hand nya and the veins on her right hand collapses). So she cant walk without support. Hay sana kahit man lang yun ma-free na sya… because she still tries to be independent–by walking to the toilet on her own, reaching out for the tissue to wipe her bottoms and to flush the toilet. Now that her right foot is bound, she has been really frustrated by the limited movement.

ITs more agonizing than her high fevers and chills last THursday, Friday and Saturday night (no more fever Sunday night).

Thanks to those (Dianna, Linsi & Anjo)  who uttered prayers for Zarah last Saturday night and Sunday morning–fever stopped on Sunday afternoon… ^_^

I am aware that medicines and the natural law helped in her recovery– but of course God is the one who inspired doctors/nurses for the cure–it is God who gave Zarah the strong will to keep on being cheerful despite her sickness& it is Him who gave me extra dose of adrenaline to recover from my flu as fast as possible so I could be fully present for Zarah Alexis during the most difficult period. And most of all loving family, relatives & friends are angels of God sent in human form. Paula (my cousin) was with me everyda, every night. Nanay is shuttling between the hospital and our house in Fairview to bring us what we need. Friends and relatives to entertain us (Dexter, Marilou, Tita Lita & Merrillyn).

Many thanks again for helping us create memories in the Philippines for Zarah Alexis..through good and bad times we will sail through with your support and prayers.

The Medical City is in Pasig along Meralco Avenue. Pediatric floor is at 10th Floor–she is currently recuperating at Room 1016..

If Zarah is still in your thoughts–please utter some word of prayers for her continued recovery .

*magaling na po si Zarah**She was released from The Medical CIty, yesterday, 17 March. We are flying back to Singapore tomorrow (Thursday.